Mark Harmon ‘Had to Kiss a Lot of Frogs’ Before Marrying the Woman Who Doesn’t Even Like the Same Things

In an industry known for fleeting romances, Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber have quietly built one of Hollywood’s most enduring marriages. The NCIS actor and the former Mork & Mindy star have been by each other’s side for nearly 38 years – a rare feat that Harmon doesn’t take for granted. He isn’t one to overshare about his personal life, but when he does, it’s heartfelt. “I had to kiss a lot of frogs to get there,” he once confessed about finding Dawber, acknowledging that it took a few failed romances to lead him to the love of his life. Today, after decades together, Harmon still beams with pride about his marriage, saying, “I’m proud to be married, and I’m proud of who I’m married to.”

A Chance Meeting and a Quick Commitment

Harmon’s and Dawber’s love story began in a decidedly un-Hollywood way: at a friend’s backyard party. The two were introduced by a mutual pal in March 1986. Dawber had even made a list of qualities she wanted in an ideal partner – intelligence, warmth, humor, strength, sensitivity – and incredibly, Harmon “ticked off every box and then more.” The connection was instant. By that summer, the couple were engaged, and on March 21, 1987, they tied the knot in an intimate ceremony with just a handful of loved ones present.

At the time, both actors were at the height of their TV fame: Harmon had recently been named People’s Sexiest Man Alive after St. Elsewhere, and Dawber was starring on the sitcom My Sister Sam. Yet their wedding was deliberately low-key. Dawber insisted the nuptials be “quiet and personal,” determined to avoid a media circus. She had seen what happened when her friend Julianne Phillips married Bruce Springsteen – paparazzi helicopters, reporters, chaos – and wanted none of it. In other words, a simple ceremony away from the spotlight was the perfect choice for them.

Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber at the People’s Choice Awards in 1989, two years into their marriage. Despite their high-wattage fame, the newlyweds largely avoided Hollywood glitz after tying the knot.

Choosing a Private Life

Harmon and Dawber’s discretion wasn’t just for their wedding day – it’s a way of life. Over the years, the pair earned a reputation as one of Hollywood’s most private couples. “It’s not even a choice. It’s who we are,” Harmon explained of their tendency to stay out of the limelight. The actor isn’t on social media (“I’m not a Twitter guy or a Facebook guy. Our sons aren’t into that either,” he noted), and the couple is rarely photographed at events. Dawber echoed that early on, saying they weren’t hiding anything, but “if you don’t want it totally exploited by the press, you have to” keep a low profile.

Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber make a rare public appearance at a Rolling Stones concert in 2013. The couple have always preferred a quiet, grounded lifestyle away from the Hollywood spotlight.

Embracing Their Differences

One secret to the Harmon-Dawber longevity is embracing the ways they aren’t alike. In fact, Harmon believes a key to their union is that he and his wife “don’t generally like the same thing” – and that’s perfectly okay. Early in their marriage, this became a lighthearted point of discussion. Harmon once recalled being excited to work on the comedy Summer School, but Dawber wasn’t convinced. “Don’t do that movie,” she warned. Harmon said it highlighted their differences – but that those differences kept things healthy.

He’s also admitted that finding lasting love took some growth. By the time he and Dawber married, both were in their mid-30s and had lived a lot of life. “We were both in our thirties when we got married, so hopefully the stupid stuff we did earlier [was behind us],” he joked. Harmon had “kissed a lot of frogs” before he met Dawber – and knew when he found the real thing, it was worth holding onto.

Putting Family First

Another pillar of their marriage has been a shared commitment to family. After welcoming sons Sean (born 1988) and Ty (born 1992), the couple made a conscious decision to prioritize home over career. Dawber stepped away from acting, saying: “I wanted to drive my kids to school. I wanted to be there for their birthdays... And I was very happy to do it.” She had no regrets trading sitcom sets for the school run. Harmon, too, rethought his career after missing his son’s first steps while away filming. That moment changed everything. “No job is worth missing life’s most important moments,” he said.

Their sons were raised out of the spotlight and have gone on to follow their passions – Sean as an actor (he even played young Gibbs on NCIS) and Ty as a screenwriter. In 2021, Dawber made a return to acting by joining Harmon on NCIS as journalist Marcie Warren – the first time the couple ever worked together on screen. Dawber made it clear she didn’t want a romantic subplot and instead played a character who challenged Gibbs. “It’s fun because Gibbs grunts out a lot of lines... They go toe-to-toe,” she said.

Nearly Four Decades and Counting

Today, Harmon is 73 and Dawber is 71. Their marriage has quietly endured – not because of grand gestures, but because of the little things. Harmon still wears his wedding ring every day, a family heirloom shaped like an eagle’s head. “I wear it... because when I’m not shooting, I like to make sure I have something on my ring finger,” he shared. “I’m just so proud of her.”

After all the red carpets, the hit shows, the years of raising a family out of the spotlight – this is the role Harmon seems to value most: husband. And while he might joke that he “kissed a lot of frogs,” there’s no question he found his person. Nearly four decades later, Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber are still writing one of Hollywood’s most quietly beautiful love stories.