Mark Harmon said he had to “kiss a lot of frogs” before finding her

Mark Harmon married Pam Dawber on March 21, 1987. That’s the fact. What makes it interesting is everything they refused to turn into a show. Almost 40 years later, they’re still together, still keeping things low-key, and now they’re grandparents. Harmon is the face people know from NCIS — steady, guarded, believable as a man who keeps his word. Dawber is the warm, funny one fans remember from Mork & Mindy and My Sister Sam. Together they built something pretty un-Hollywood: a marriage that stayed private while the careers stayed public. He’s said he’s proud to be married, and proud of who he’s married to. That tone shows up in everything else.

How They Met

They didn’t meet at a premiere or in some PR-arranged way. A mutual friend introduced them in 1986. Both of them were already working, already recognizable. Harmon had just been named People’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” Dawber was starring on TV. They weren’t two 22-year-olds chasing attention — they were mid-30s, successful, and clear about what they wanted in a partner.

They moved quickly, but not for publicity. Within a year they were engaged, and on March 21, 1987, they got married in a small ceremony with only people who actually knew them. No helicopters. No tabloids staking out the street. Dawber had seen how Hollywood weddings could go — loud, messy, turned into somebody else’s story — and she wanted the opposite. Harmon backed that. That first decision — “this is ours” — is basically the blueprint for the rest of their marriage.

The Life They Built

They raised two boys, Sean and Ty. Sean came along in 1988, Ty a few years later in 1992. When the boys were young, Dawber more or less said, “I’m staying home.” She’s talked about wanting to drive them to school and actually be there, instead of doing 14-hour days on a set while someone else did the parenting. Harmon kept working, but in a way that didn’t swallow the whole house. NCIS became the long run — steady, dependable — and later on their son Sean even played a young Gibbs in flashbacks. That tells you a lot about the family vibe: the work was there, but the family wasn’t for sale.

They kept the same stance as the years went on. No social media family brand. No constant red carpet appearances. When they do get photographed — maybe out together in L.A. or at a concert — people react like they’re checking in on old friends: “They’re still together.” It’s rare enough that it still lands.

In 2021, Dawber finally joined Harmon on NCIS. She played Marcie Warren, a journalist who challenges Gibbs instead of flirting with him. That was on purpose. She’d been asked to do the show before and said no when it didn’t feel right. When she did say yes, it was because she liked the character and wanted to show up as an equal, not “Gibbs’ TV girlfriend.” Even when they worked together, they protected the tone of their real marriage.

Now they’re in the grandparent era. Their son Sean and his wife welcomed a baby boy in May 2025, which quietly made Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber grandparents. Fans loved that update — not because it was shocking, but because it confirmed what everyone likes about them: they’re still together, still living the way they said they wanted to in 1987.

Harmon still wears a wedding band, often that eagle-head style ring people notice. He’s said he likes having something on that finger when he’s not filming because he’s proud to be married, and proud of who he’s married to. For a couple that never tried to monetize their relationship, that small detail says plenty.